For the past month and a half I've been "dieting." Something I swore I would never do, but I guess that was easy for 90 pound, 22 year old me to promise. More than slightly heavier, 30 year old me still hates the idea, but also hates not fitting into any of my clothes. As someone who never worked out, never played sports and ate legitimately whatever I wanted in whatever quantities I felt like, this is a WHOLE new world for me. And so far, not an enjoyable one.
Up to now, I've almost exclusively been doing a calorie counting diet. I have not been able to go to the gym or do much at all physically after an injury a few days into this process. Everyone told me that once I did the diet changes for three weeks or so, it would be habit and would become second nature. While I lost a SIGNIFICANT amount with the major changes in my diet, I'm not seeing or feeling any change in how things fit. I also miss food I can taste. And enjoy. More than I want to admit. I've come to hate mealtimes. I'd be as dramatic as to say that the experience has made me a little depressed. Nothing is habit or second nature yet. In fact, still very opposite.
I was able to start back at the gym this week (a phenomenon that is also pretty foreign to me as I've only been a member since December and I've been to gyms just a handful of times in my life) so I'm hoping that will help a bit with giving me some options back for my diet. I understand there are no "quick fixes" but I can understand why so many people turn to diet pills and sketchy programs - dieting is akin to torture. I still think the pill/quick fix route is a bad idea, but I definitely have found myself paying more attention to how many of these programs exist and how wonderful their claims sound.
With the help of my supportive and knowledgeable friend as well as
utilizing the "MyPlate" tool on LiveStrong.com, I have learned a lot and
definitely have a much better awareness of what and how much I
typically eat. That being said, I cannot see myself sticking to this
strict type of plan long-term. I would LOVE to have a change of heart
as I try to continue over the month of July, but I have realized that I
take such pleasure in the food I eat and the experience of dining. I
have never experienced it firsthand, but I would think this is what it
feels like to go through withdrawals. Yes, food=drugs for me.
