When Is It Too Soon To Start Couples Counseling?

At lunch today my coworker told us about his friend who just started couples counseling...with his girlfriend of 2 years. Now, even before hearing the rest of the story, I and some of the other people agreed that the dating phase of a relationship is too soon to start counseling. If you have problems serious enough to warrant therapy this early on, you should probably reconsider if this is the right person for you. One or two others seemed to think it was a great idea to start counseling early on - before there are major problems. My final stance on the issue is going to seem like a bit of a cop out - it depends on the situation. I think this is one of those debates where this may be the only acceptable stance to take since people and their backgrounds and how they function in relationships can vary drastically. Personally, if it were me or someone close to me, though, I think the potential need for therapy would be a wake-up call.

And your reward for putting up with my rambling - the story that inspired the debate in the first place. Also, I should mention upfront that this story is not made up - it is 100% fact - other than the names I'm about to make up since I don't know the actual names of the people involved. We'll call the couple HeBob and SheBob. So HeBob and SheBob have been dating for two years. She is a successful writer and he...okay I forget what he does, but that's not really important. The point is she works hard and he does not. She realizes she would rather not spend her time with a lazy lump of...lazyiness. Yeah. She breaks up with HeBob and two weeks later finds out she is pregnant with his baby. She struggles with her options and even though she is pro-choice in theory, she's not sure abortion is the right decision for her. So she does decide to have the abortion, but also ends up getting back together with HeBob anyways.

I won't try to draw a moral from the story. I will, however, share a tidbit that adds just a little bit more verve to the tale. The story of how SheBob got pregnant. SheBob and HeBob participated in a clinical trial for a new contraceptive product.